Veronica's
Story
" I had six kids that were taken from me. SCF referred
me to
the KYDC Family Empowerment Program in 2000.”
--Veronica Tumbaga
“A couple of months ago...where I could really see some
change in her, was when she lost her job and her home and instead
of going back to the bottom like some people would, she held
on, and she fought for what she felt was right. She had people
suggest to her that she put her kids back into foster care until
she could get on her feet. That was not an option for her. She
didn’t sit and whine about her situation. She enrolled
in job training, and OIT. She has a vision of a future for her
and her children.” --Kathy Condit, KYDC Family Empowerment
Program Mentor.
Veronica’s small three bedroom apartment is neatly kept
and orderly. The walls and cupboards are decorated with family
photos and cherished mementos of family activities. Promptly
at 5 p.m. every day Veronica Tumbaga and her children sit down
to dinner together. Each child has their assigned place.
All of this is in stark contrast to how life was for Veronica
and her family before they began a closely monitored reunification
process over two years ago after being separated for three years.
And before Kathy Condit became Veronica’s Family Empowerment
Program (FEP) mentor.
The all too familiar story began when Veronica was born into
a family that would have domestic violence, sexual abuse and
drug and alcohol problems. As a young teenager she was a gang
member and heavy drug and alcohol user. At sixteen she gave
birth to her first child. Five more children by assorted fathers
quickly followed. Her drug use escalated. Of course, her children
suffered greatly during that time from emotional and physical
neglect and they were traumatized by witnessing years of physical
abuse of their mother by her boyfriends and husbands. “We
sometimes lived without electricity, no TV, no food even,”
Veronica says. “She came from [her lowest point...] living
in a cardboard box,” adds Kathy.
Kathy continues, “You know how when a person gets into
trouble with the law, or has made bad decisions in their life
for whatever reason, and they’re offered opportunities
to turn their lives around, some people hold on for a little
while; and some can’t seem to hold on at all. Veronica
has made the most of every opportunity offered her. She hasn’t
wasted any of it! Personally I have great respect for her. She’s
a joy to know!”
There is a difference between the mentoring program and handout
programs. “The mentoring program walks beside them, not
for them.” says Kathy. “She makes her own decisions.
I never tell her what to do. I just care, and I believe in her,
and that’s what she needs most of all.”
“ I joined the Family Empowerment Program looking for
a mentor for my daughter and, instead, found one for myself,”
says Veronica. “ I was looking for more positive people
in my life because of my past – I’m an addict/alcoholic,
clean for close to four years. I also had a lot of friends who
were bad influences. Through FEP activities I’ve met a
lot of positive people and I started to see there were things
I could do to have fun that didn’t have to do with drugs
and alcohol.”
“I'm in my third year of the FEP program,” says
Veronica, “and Marlene has asked ME to be a mentor!”
She says of the first days in the program, “ I couldn’t
think straight. When you lose your kids, you feel like you’ve
lost your life. I got my children back shortly after I got into
the program. It was a hard transition. Four of them came back
first. They tried my patience to the limits, but we got through
it. My oldest is in college. She is 22, living in LA. and she
has an Associates Degree in Psychology. Another daughter is
going to college in Denver. The other kids are doing really
good in school. I’m going to OIT this fall to study office
management so I can run my own business. Then I plan on transferring
to the University of Oregon to study architecture.”
Life is still hard for Veronica. She has a new job, and often
works night shifts before facing a long day with a houseful
of children, and now a grandchild. Her strength inspires all
who know her. Her mentor, Kathy, says it best, “I absolutely
love Veronica. She is a woman of great courage.”
